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Advice for Raising Teens and Children, Age appropriate, Child, Children, Discipline, Facebook, Families, Family, Google, Halloween, Home, Jeff Yalden, Parent, Parental Advice, Parents, Rules, Teen and Family Life Coach, Teenagers, Youth
We live in a world that is changing faster than we can keep up. Change is good, but in this rapidly changing world it can be difficult for our young people to keep up and develop the internal mechanisms that allow them to live a healthy productive life. How often have you heard your child say, “I’m bored!” They can’t keep up with this pace. Always wanting for more.
Our technology is incredible . . . The information highway. It allows us to reach out to places we never thought were possible and it moves quickly. Anything we want we can “Google it”. It’s at our fingertips and new devices comes out only to be replaced by another new device the next week. We as adults can’t keep up how do we expect teens to keep up? They do and they are better than us, but the question is simply if their mechanics in their brain aren’t mature enough to process how do we expect them to do the right thing? Age appropriate responsibility is age appropriate independence. Teens have too much independence and the world is free for any question they want to ask.
Parents???? Are you hearing this? Get involved and know what your children are doing on the internet.
In addition to the rapid change our children engage in activities that expose them to the hype and excitement of an age group beyond their developmental stage. They have not developed the impulse control and internal mechanisms needed to regulate and control the thoughts and emotions that enable them to make healthy choices.
Many of our children use the internet and are a part of the social networking groups, or play computer games, and watch movies – that are for an older age group. The amount of time and number of people, young and old, that engage in the on-line gaming is staggering. I cannot count the number of times a parent has said to me, “but you don’t understand, all of the kids are playing these games.” My response is always, “I know, that is part of what is wrong in our world and we/you as a parents/parent are enabling it.” Ask yourself, “If my ten year old is excited by T and M games, or PG-13 and R rated movies, what is going to excite them when they are 15 or 16?”
Our society in general moves us beyond the her and now. Always wanting for more, not living in the moment. Have you ever noticed that the stores have the next seasons products before we even begin the current season. Christmas stuff is out before Halloween is over. Everything moves so fast and we are conditioned to think ahead. I find myself thinking about the fall in the summer and thinking about the spring in the winter. Awareness is the key, we can’t solve any problem until we identify it. We live in an environment that leaves us wanting for more and feeling unsatisfied but not sure why.
Live in the moment, that is truly all we have and ensure that our children do the same. Follow the ratings on games and movies and keep your child in the activities for that age group. Another good boundary to follow is to only allow them to hang around with someone their age or a year older or younger. Hot because a 14 year old is a bad influence for a 12 year old, but because a 14 year old has different rules that a 12 year old. I’ll give you a good example:
I was working with a parent that had a 7 year old daughter and they lived in a duplex. The next door neighbor was an 11 year old girl and because it was in the same house the parent did not see any problem with it. Well, one summer afternoon the parent was cooking dinner and her 7 year old daughter wanted to go down to the library on her bike with the 11 year old, she was told, “No”, because she was too young and that when she finished cooking dinner she would go with them to the library. Well, when the parent finished they had gone to the library. One of the two things will happen, either the older child will engage in younger activities or the younger child will engage in older activities.
The parents should be teaching their own children rather than expecting their own children to learn on the streets from older children that don’t have the impulse control and internal mechanisms needed to regulate and control the thoughts and emotions that enable them to make healthy choices.
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Jeff Yalden is a teen motivational speaker and teen and family life coach. One of the most sought after speakers in the world today for teenagers and parents, Jeff is direct and brings the flashlight of truth to today’s parents and teenagers. Contact Jeff today by visiting www.JeffYalden.com.
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